


ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter

by Slumber



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Animals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22590307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slumber/pseuds/Slumber
Summary: My idiot furry son has one job at night - bork at things and make them go away. Easy, right?HOWEVER, a bear has learned that my furry son can be bought. This is the THIRD TIME he's been gifted deer bones in exchange for being allowed access to my trash, AND HE KEEPS DOING IT.— @JesseNeon, May 8, 2019In which Bokuto is a very good boy, and Kuroo is a very bad bear.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter

**Author's Note:**

> The [tweet](https://twitter.com/JesseNeon/status/1126107993886679040) that [inspired](https://twitter.com/slumberish/status/1126294663596580865?s=20) this is almost a year old. I'm only sorry I am very slow at writing, but not sorry at all that I chose to wield my power to write this way.

Bokuto is a very good boy.

He’s a good boy most of the time, like when he fetches Akaashi’s ball or stays off Akaashi’s couch or settles his butt on the ground when Akaashi says _“Sit”_. He’s a good boy when he stops just short of leaping onto one of Akaashi’s friends, or Akaashi himself (he tries to help it, he _does_ , but he loves Akaashi’s friends, and Akaashi himself! Of course he’d want to say hi the best way he knows how) and a good boy when he goes number two at the first tree Akaashi takes him out to during their daily walks. 

He likes being a good boy, because it gets him a nice little cheesy treat or two, along with awesome scritches between his ears and along the length of his back. 

And there’s really nothing better in life than that.

* * *

Kuroo is a very bad bear.

Bokuto doesn’t know his name at first, though he notices him right away, the woody scent growing a little stronger one evening after dinner, when Bokuto’s resting out on the deck and Akaashi’s cleaning up inside. It’s just started to grow dark, the scent taking shape but no more than a hazy, blurry sort of figure just out of Bokuto’s vision. 

“Good evening,” comes the greeting, and Bokuto’s ears perk up, his hackles rising. “I’m just a hungry old fellow who happened to pass by, and I couldn’t help but notice—” 

He gestures toward the trash can, a hapless sort of motion that tugs at Bokuto’s heartstrings just a little before he remembers himself.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Bokuto says, his words coming out with a low grumble. “There’s nothing there.”

“Are you sure of that? I can smell something quite delectable.” The bear sniffs in the direction of the trash, and with some kind of incomprehensible magic Bokuto catches a whiff of what may have been leftover fish. “I’ve injured myself, you see, caught my wrist in something sharp. It’s never quite worked the way it used to since.”

Bokuto frowns. “You’re really not supposed to be here,” he says again, voice low in warning.

But the bear doesn’t seem deterred the slightest bit. “Aren’t I? Perhaps we started off on the wrong foot— should I introduce myself? You can call me Kuroo. Listen, I won’t be in your way, if you could let me just—”

“No!” Bokuto barks, jumping to his feet as Kuroo attempts to head over to the trash can. 

From inside the house, Akaashi stirs. “Bokuto?” he calls out. “What’s going on out there?”

“This bear wants to eat your trash, Akaashi!” Bokuto says, his gaze pinned on Kuroo, who seems to be reconsidering his actions.

“Ah, it was worth a shot,” he says after a short moment, slinking back into the shadows. “It was good to meet you regardless, Bokuto.”

He’s disappeared by the time Akaashi gets to the door. “What was that?” he asks, glancing at Bokuto before his gaze sweeps over the yard, then to the line of trees that border the woods in the distance. “Did you scare ‘em away?”

“Sure did,” Bokuto says, huffing with satisfaction when Akaashi ruffles the top of his head. 

“Good boy, Bokuto. Good boy.”

* * *

Bokuto sees the bone before he sees Kuroo. 

Which isn't on _him_ — Kuroo had been hiding from sight, and the scent of the meat off the bone wafted heavy in the air, obscuring Kuroo’s more muted musk.

“We really got off on the wrong foot there,” Kuroo says once Bokuto’s approached the bone and sniffed around it tentatively. “I thought a peace offering was in order.”

“What— What's this?” Bokuto asks, even as the heady scent filled his nostrils, the promise of juicy deliciousness filling the back of his tongue until his mouth watered. It takes all his willpower to snap his jaw shut, and even more to tear his gaze away.

Kuroo’s glancing at him curiously. “Oh, you know, it was just a little something I found over there. There was an accident, you see, one of the young fawn had a bit of trouble—”

“An accident, huh? Like your injured wrist?”

“It's dangerous, living near humans.”

“I do okay,” Bokuto snarls. 

“Oh, of course I didn't mean— not _your_ human, no—” Kuroo’s gaze flickers to the trash, a little fuller now than yesterday, holding both paws up in surrender when Bokuto steps deliberately before him. “But as I was saying— I just wanted to apologize. Please, give it a try. You’ve never had deer bone before, have you?”

He hadn’t, no. And it does smell really tasty. Bokuto narrows his gaze, walking up to the proffered bone with a modicum of suspicion. “I’m keeping my eyes on you,” he warns Kuroo before taking a first, careful lick of the bone. 

It’s _different_ : rich and savory and _decadent_ in a way none of his treats had been before. Must be all that nature, or something. One lick turns to three, to five, to twenty. His tail thumps rhythmically, happily against the wooden deck, teeth bared as he gnaws on the joint— that sweet, tender _cartilage_ — eager to suck every last drop of flavor from— 

A loud bang jolts him out of his bone-induced euphoria, the clanging of tin hitting ground inexplicably, explosively loud as a week’s worth of garbage spills out, shadowed only by a very guilty-looking bear with his injured paw holding the remains of last night’s salmon. 

“Oops,” Kuroo says, sheepish. “Suppose this wrist isn’t completely healed yet. I’m so sorry about that, it just smelled so good—” 

“Bokuto?” Akaashi calls from the inside, his voice enough to startle Kuroo.

“Ah, well, I’d stay and help clean up but—” 

Bokuto stands up. “Hey! Where are you going?”

But Kuroo’s already rushing back to the woods. “I’m really sorry!” he calls out behind him. “Keep the bone!” 

Bokuto blinks. “Keep the bone?”

“Bokuto, what’s—” The door to the house swings open, Akaashi’s eyes wide with confusion before he starts taking it all in: the overturned trash, the dug-through leftovers, the deer shank between Bokuto’s paws. 

Bokuto’s ears droop.

“Oh, _Bokuto_ ,” Akaashi sighs. “You’ve been a bad boy.”

* * *

Akaashi doesn’t actually get mad at him— as far as they were both concerned, the deer bone argues Bokuto’s case for him, absolving him of all responsibility.

“You can’t just let him bribe you, though,” Akaashi scolds him, but his tone is light. 

“It was really good bone,” Bokuto says mournfully. “But you’re right! I gotta get my head in the game!” 

Akaashi nods, satisfied, before letting Bokuto out of the house for the evening.

“You seem a little more agitated than usual,” Kuroo says when he shows up, walking up to him too casually, holding a bone even larger than yesterday’s. 

Bokuto falters. “I’m onto— I’m onto you.” There’s even a bit more meat on this one, the scent catching in the air and going straight to his mouth.

“I just wanted to thank you,” Kuroo says. “And apologize, again. Shouldn’t have left you on your own to deal with that. Your human wasn’t very upset, was he?”

“As if you care.” Bokuto tries his hardest to frown, but the smell of the deer kept un-creasing his brow.

Kuroo holds a free paw to his chest. “Oh but I do care,” he says. “I’ve come to think of us as friends, you and I. And your human has excellent taste. That salmon was just _spectacular_. Is that mahi-mahi I’m smelling in the trash now?” 

“I’m telling you,” Bokuto growls. “I’m onto you.” Akaashi had given him a few extra treats with dinner tonight, he didn’t need more of this— this— 

“I was careless, that was all,” Kuroo says. He sets the bone down, just out of reach. Just far enough so Bokuto will have to move away from the trash. “I’ll be more careful. I promise. Besides— he already threw it away. It would be a waste, wouldn’t it? Like this deer, if you didn’t have it.”

It did call to him, the deer did. Meaty and chewy and _perfect_ , so _perfect_ — 

“Oh, bother,” Kuroo mutters from somewhere in the distance, the words hazy and far away before the familiar sound of falling garbage rings in Bokuto’s ears, pulling him back to sharp focus. Deer bone between his teeth. Kuroo’s paws in the proverbial honey pot before he scurries away. 

Akaashi groans when he opens the door moments later, too quickly for Bokuto to hide the evidence— though he never would; that’s not good dog behavior! “We really must do something about that bear,” he sighs.

* * *

After two more “deer bone incidents”, as Bokuto likes to refer to them now, Akaashi returns from the center of the town with a mysterious box of items. He spends the afternoon spraying the perimeter of the house until it smelled intensely like a copse of pine tree concentrate before he hooks something up to the garden hose.

“Hey Bokuto, do you want to play fetch?” he asks, finally noticing how patiently Bokuto has been watching him this whole time. 

“Yeah of course I wanna—” Bokuto starts, taking off to run after the tennis ball Akaashi tosses toward the forest. He’s wet when he returns to drop the ball at Akaashi’s feet, hair hanging over his eyes, but Akaashi only ruffles the top of his head and calls him a good boy one more time before he says they should dry him up and get inside, the game over for the day.

Bokuto’s only a little bit disappointed.

* * *

Kuroo stops visiting, and Bokuto doesn’t get in trouble anymore.

But he wishes he did.

* * *

It’s a dull, balmy evening out on the porch when Bokuto catches a whiff of something in the air. Not _bear_ , like he’d secretly been hoping, but something else. Something new and different. He sits up straight, sniffs around, but it’s a sudden movement from the corner of his eye that tells him where to look.

“Oy! You there!” Bokuto barks out, hope rising in his chest even as the way the grass rustled told him this new interloper was much, much smaller than Kuroo. “You’re not allowed here!”

No one answers him back right away. Instead there’s the twitching of two long ears— inky black and nearly invisible against the dark, were it not for streaks of white in the furry coat— and a pair of glowing red eyes that glance at him briefly. “You’re Bokuto, huh?”

Bokuto frowns, but because he’s a good boy, he can’t help replying with, “Yeah, that’s me.”

The rabbit’s nose twitches, an impatient huff out of his downturned mouth. “I thought you’d be more—”

“More what?” Bokuto bristles when he catches a whiff of a familiar musky scent, so faint that it was more of a hint. But with only the rabbit before him— he narrows his gaze. “Do you know Kuroo?”

Rabbits don’t have eyebrows, but Bokuto would swear this one raised his. “Maybe you might be able to help after all,” he murmurs, more to himself, before hopping away to head toward the trees. “Follow me.” 

“Wait— Hey! Follow you to where? Help with what? You can’t just—” Bokuto shouts, pausing in hesitation as his training kicks in, telling him this is a bad idea, that maybe this is another one of Kuroo’s tricks, a diversion of some kind or something to get at leftover fish from tonight’s dinner. It wouldn’t be the first time, after all.

But Kuroo had stayed away, and the rabbit mentioned needing help, and Bokuto—

Bokuto takes off at a run. “Wait up!”

* * *

The rabbit doesn’t let up, but Bokuto never loses his scent, squeezing through narrow thickets and weaving through the gnarly groundwork of overgrown roots and fallen branches to keep pace. He’s not sure where they’re headed, still not sure what’s going on, but he lets instinct take over, the rabbit guiding their way, until eventually they come upon a rocky river bank. Bokuto follows the rabbit’s path downstream, but a fresh breeze stirs through the quiet evening air, carrying with it a scent that he would recognize anywhere.

He dashes past the rabbit, guided by his nose more than his eyes as he navigates the slippery rocks until he reaches a large outcrop, on top of which one lone bear hunches over. 

Kuroo looks up at the sound of his intrusion, glancing briefly at the rabbit who hops up to take his place beside him. “Kenma,” he says softly, almost an admonition. “You brought Bokuto here?”

He sounds different, the way he says that, and Bokuto isn’t sure why but he doesn’t like it. “What’s going on?” he asks, not missing the baleful way Kenma turns to Kuroo.

“I can’t very well hunt for you,” he says, and then, to Bokuto: “His paw’s not healing right, so he hasn’t eaten much lately.”

“Berries,” Kuroo chimes in, indignant, and there’s that tone of voice again— it’s weaker, Bokuto realizes with a start, a sinking feeling of guilt dropping in his gut even as he sees how Kuroo’s cradling his paw, the way he’s bent over it protectively. He sounds weaker, his voice holding none of the smooth confidence it had held only weeks before, when they’d first met. He leans forward, curling up on the rock. “I’ve had some berries.” 

“Those can’t be enough,” Bokuto says, a plan already forming in his head. “Akaashi had some snapper tonight, stay right here, I bet I can—”

“Bokuto!” Akaashi’s voice cuts through the forest, echoing from somewhere inside it. Bokuto barks in response, calling back to Akaashi until he emerges, out of breath, his hair somewhat leaf-strewn. He brushes his hair of stray leaves and small twigs, glancing up with a look on his face that Bokuto’s seen very rarely, only for it to disappear as soon as he takes in the odd sight. “Oh, _Bokuto_ ,” he murmurs. “He’s not a bad bear at all, is he?”

* * *

Bokuto is a very good boy. 

And Kuroo is— when you get to know him a little bit better and realize he’s not just trying to swindle leftover fish from you— a good bear, actually.

Kuroo is a very good bear when he tells Bokuto where the ball has gone if Akaashi throws it a little too far, and when he lets Bokuto curl up on him if Bokuto starts looking at Akaashi’s couch too longingly, and especially when he comes by with nice, juicy, delicious forest treats just for Bokuto, which smell so good he can smell them a mile away.

Akaashi smiles as soon as Bokuto sits up, ears perked, nose in the air, tail wagging wildly. “Looks like he’s coming over today, huh?” he says as he gets to his feet. Bokuto follows him to the kitchen, waiting patiently while he rummages through the fridge and takes out a small bundle wrapped in newspaper, careful not to get too excitable when Akaashi finally opens the door to let Bokuto out, setting the unwrapped package of fresh salmon down next to him. “Tell him I say hi.”

Later, when they’ve both had their treats and their conversation has drifted to companionable silence, the setting sun will find Bokuto curled up next to Kuroo, Kuroo settled down next to him, scritching between his ears. 

“Is that your good paw?” Bokuto asks between the contented thumps of his tail on the floor.

“It’s my good paw,” Kuroo assures him.

“Okay,” Bokuto says, and he thinks, there’s really nothing better in life than this.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus pic by [tau](https://twitter.com/tauontauoff) because I said, "I want to write this so it's not entirely clear if they are actually animals or just really into pet play, and you can enjoy it both ways depending on what you're into," and they said, "WELL IN THAT CASE."
> 
> Thank you for making it here! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! ♥ I've also written [other Bokuroo fics](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=2226001&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&pseud_id=Slumber&user_id=Slumber)
> 
> Believe it or not, I am even more shameless on [twitter](https://twitter.com/slumberish) if you wanna say hi!


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